Bad Dreams and Memories

[Missa]

“Stop, please leave her alone! Please, she doesn’t deserve this!” The voice was panicked, the slight woman coming forward slightly, her hand out-stretched as though pleading with the man in front of her. Such anger she’d never seen on the man who had taken her from her home so long ago. Just as Beka had never seen the tracks of tears on her mother’s cheeks, never heard her beg for Beka’s release. The girl in question had trouble even drawing breath into her lungs, so tired, so exhausted. Every muscle hurt, hurt so much she knew she was crying. Agony, pure blind agony as her arm slowly bled her blood onto the ground, staining the green beneath. Her head throbbed, her body ached, and everything seemed to be black-white or grey. There was no real meaning in the world. Her father… The man she was supposed to trust above all else, the man that was supposed to protect her, the man that was supposed to care about her more than anything else in the world. He’d done more than beat her, that she had accepted, but how… How could this man live with himself after what he’d done to her? Her breath was torn from her lungs in a cry of pain as a foot connected with her stomach, making the girl retch, her stomach clenching tightly as though trying to get rid of the food there.
 
There was nothing her body could get rid of, and when she was left, gasping, she didn’t even have the strength to get up. There was little more she could do than breathe, and keep breathing. Beka managed to raise her head, just slightly to see her father walking forward, towards her mother. Anger darkening his features, an anger that Beka had taken from her mother, she’d given him something else to hate, and it had probably saved Kilina’s life, she couldn’t let all that go undone.
“Don’t!” The word seemed more breathy than Beka would have liked, would have preferred to be strong, but never mind, she’d gotten his attention once more. Her fingers grasped at the grass, tearing, trying to force herself to get up. Face this monster, even if it might have been the last time. She didn’t even get that far, not before she found herself pulled to her feet by a hand curling into her hair. Dragging her up to meet his dark, angry gaze. There was no humanity, there couldn’t be any human in this creature.
“What?” He snarled, and Beka squirmed, trying to get her head free, away.
Free. She’d never know the meaning of the word, not until she died, until then she was her father’s slave, her mother’s protector.
“I… Said don’t. Don’t… Touch her. You… Don’t deserve-” Beka couldn’t force more out, not as her father jerked her closer, one hand going to her injured arm, squeezing…
 
A cry of pain and terror, and Beka was awake, drawing her knees close to her chest as she sat up. Soft, whimpering sounds coming from her throat even as she tried to muffle them, stop them. Night-Terrors, they weren’t normally so vivid, so real. Time was supposed to have dulled the edge, dulled the fear, the pain. Her arm seemed to throb, like the wound had only just sealed. This couldn’t be right, no, they had to be leaving. Valiant woke, the gblue giving a frightened little sound as he got up, before crawling over to Beka.

Mine! I don't like that dream! What is going on? Who is that man? Why are you so afraid? In her panic, the barred dragonet probably woke up half her siblings, speaking to those she knew best in her panic. Or those hers knew: N'ren, Z'ris and Jacklith and Kayth. Beka merely shook her head, reaching a shaking hand out to Valiant, not bothering to wipe the tears streaming down her face as she wrapped her arms about herself once more. Burying her face in her arms.
Blood poured anew, over his fingers as he brought his face closer, she squirmed, the pain… The agony was surely killing her, it had to be, she couldn’t live through this!
”Perhaps the little girl needs another lesson…”
 
“No!” Beka’s voice was choked, terrified and rather loud as she jerked her head back from her arms, trying to get rid of the feelings, the terror, her breath seemed to come harshly, as though she was trying to breathe, and it wasn’t working. Her body trembled as though shivering, cold, but it wasn’t. Her features were almost deathly pale as she trembled, shook in fear. Caught in memories she wanted so badly to forget, she just couldn’t. Why? Was it because everything in her life had been destroyed that day? The trust every child had in her parents, the trust every child had in adults, had been ripped from her hands. Eyes had been opened to the horrors of the world in the most brutal fashion, the fact that not everyone could be trusted, infact, no one could be trusted, ever.

[Sparrow]

Aleyi rolled over in her bed, awoken by someone's cries. Nightmares? Why have nightmares? She sat up and looked around... Beka. Rubbing her eyes, she stood and padded softly past the few beds seperating them. Jerglith was still asleep, although his tail occasionally gave an alert twitch. She wouldn't bother him though.

"Something wrong?" Her voice was still a little slurred with sleep... Aleyi would never be quick to wake up. Beka was shivering... unsure of what else to do, Aleyi lay a hand on her shoulder and looked around uncertainly. Had anyone else woken up? "I'm sure it was just a bad dream..."

Brooke suddenly realized she wasn't curled against someone's head and sat up abruptly, gazing around with whirling eyes. Ah, there was Hers. Leaving the pillow, she flitted over to land on Aleyi's shoulder. What was wrong with this other girl? She crooned softly; the Gold was young but still had some motherly instincts.

Aleyi didn't really... but she figured she would try. "Beka?" She kept her voice low for two reasons: it would be less frightening after a nightmare, and less likely to wake others. Brookelev had night-terrors sometimes, but Aleyi had a much easier time comforting her old friend than this shy girl.

[Missa]

Flinching slightly as teh hand rested on her shoulder, Beka struggled to make a coherant thought, much less a sentence, her words coming out in a rush, their sincerity broken by the soft, choked sobs that happened often in her words.
"F-fine. I'm f-fi-fine." Shaking her head quickly, Beka looked up as Mermaiyeth creeled softly, unhappily, eyes whirling rapidly with distress.
"No!" She managed to hiss, shaking ehr head quickly. Dreams, how she wished that was all they were, wished like anything.
"M-memories. N-not d-dreams. "

As the gold came over, Valiant took up a defensive pose, creeping closer to Beka as teh girl tried to hide her fear from her fellow weyrling. The gold wasn't being mean though, and Valiant slowly relaxed, adding his croon to hers as Beka shuddered slightly. The dreams were frightening, but more frightening was this reaction, she wasn't calming down, instead, Aleyi had become some what of an achor for the moment, and Beka merely shuddered again.

"Don't let h-him find me. P-please." More tears slipped down her cheeks, but for the first time, Beka didn't bursh them or her fellow weyrling away. "I-I don't want to go back. Don-don't let him hurt me. N-not again. Don't let him hurt me." Words were whispered, Beka lifting her head to see Aleyi's face for herself, assuming she could really see trhough her tears. Usually, night-terrors left moments after waking, they didn't fade for Beka though. They weren't stupid fears she'd dreamt up, Beka's dreams were memories, flesh and blood.

[Sparrow]

Aleyi frowned. "Well, you don't sound fine." She couldn't quite say look, it was too dark to see much. She drew her hand back uncertainly as Beka continued, the weyrling's first reaction to her touch and then the harsh "No" inspiring that. Even though it seemed the no really had nothing to do with the touch.

Memories? That was... probably worse. Aleyi sat down on the edge of Beka's bed and looked uncertainly down. "If they're memories... then they're over now, right?" Yes, that sounded right. They must be bad ones though, for her to still be worrying about them here.

"Who?" Aleyi had no idea who this 'he' was Beka was talking about. But... if she was scared of him, maybe that wasn't the best question to ask. "Well, you're stuck here until Mermaiyeth grows up, so I don't think you need to worry about going back for a while, right?" Nope. And when all the dragons were grown up, they would stay and fight. Wherever this 'back' place was, Beka probably wouldn't ever have to go there. Unless it turned out to be the Weyr, that wouldn't be good.

What is wrong Mine? Jerglith raised his head sleepily, seeming to only just realize something was wrong. Mermaiyeth? Is something wrong? The Barred appeared to be the only dragonet awake, so he figured he'd ask her too. His was over there anyways... Rising slowly to his feet, Jerglith made his tired way over to Rebekah's bed too.

[Missa]

"I-I am." She wasn't about to make Aleyi sit with ehr, or listen to her, maybe if she convinced her she was fine... Well, maybe Beka would believe it to. Maybe if she believed that she was fine, she'd feel fine and she'd forget all of it. Maybe, unlikely, but maybe.

Over? In a way, yes. He couldn't reach her here, he was back... Where ever he was, and she was at the weyr. She was safe, in a way.
"I-I suppose." That didn't help her mind forget them though. No matter how long it was, or how long she was at the weyr, there would always be memories. Always.
"M-my father. " Aleyi had a point, even Beka's distraught mind could see that. She was indeed stuck her until Mermaiyeth grew up at least, and even then, Beka wouldn't want to go back, and yet, she was still deathly afraid that he would end up at the weyr. Or that she would see him again.

Mermaiyeth swung her head towards Jerglith as he spoke, eyes whirling slightly calmer as Aleyi's words had an effect on her bonded.
Mine dreams. Bad dreams, they hurt so much, he hurt Mine and I can't make it better. She's so afraid... She whispered in response, eyes following him as he moved closer to Hers almost suspiciously. She didn't want anyone upsetting Hers more.

[Sparrow]

"Uh-huh." Aleyi would never accept stuttering as a sign of being 'fine'. Brooke chirped too, happy to agree with Aleyi's skeptism, although she wasn't paying much attention to what it was over. The little Gold wanted to go back to sleep mostly.

Her father? Aleyi liked her father... apparently Beka was different? She considered for a moment. Now Aleyi was curious about what Beka's father had done, and Jerglith too, although he was more sleepy, but she didn't think that was the best thing to ask. It was apparently scary. Still... she didn't think Beka's father was at the Weyr. But Aleyi was lacking in something to say that wouldn't make the situation worse, and so remained silent on that point.

Bad dreams? Jerglith didn't have any experience with those. He stopped behind Aleyi and sat down, not liking how Mermiayeth was looking at him and thinking maybe he should have stayed at his wallow. Mine always told me dreams aren't real. Maybe that was why Aleyi's never scared her.

[Missa]

Mermaiyeth relaxed after a moment, hopping off her own couch to mkove closer, touching her nose to Jerglith's shoulder, she was truely grateful for His coming to help Hers. She was. She wasn't how to explain Hers' dreams without showing, and that was something that even Mermaiyeth couldn't do. She couldn't show her siblings something that terrified her.

They are not... Dreams. They come at night. Yet, they were real once. Memories, but they still frighten mine. It is like this... man still has a hold on Mine and I can't break it! Looking up at Beka again, Mermaiyeth shuddered delicately. Blood. Pain. Tears. She didn't want to expose her siblings to that again. Never. Struggling to explain the fear, Mermaiyeth opted for the one thing Jerglith would probably understand.
When Mine remembers these things... It's like she can't hear me anymore. She's blocked off, she can't feel me there anymore. It's like we never bonded, it's frightening, and then she wakes up, and I can help, but while she's trapped it's like someone is holding her away from me..

Beka barely raised her head as she spoke, determined to be as strong as Mermaiyeth. If her bonded could explain the fear, then so could she. Yet, though her lips moved, no sound came out and Beka finally managed only to softest, voice.
"I was born holdless... To a Shunned man and my mother.."

[Sparrow]

Jerglith's eyes whirled with surprise when Mermaiyeth touched him; he hadn't been expecting that. When she spoke, he kept the words to himself, unsure if it was alright if he shared what the Barred said with His or not. That must be scary. He shivered slightly at the thought of Aleyi blocking him off like that. Luckily nothing seemed to scare her.

Why do her memories come at night? It didn't make a lot of sense to him that what had happened in the past would haunt someone now in dreams. His didn't think about her past a lot either so Jerglith had never thought they were very important. Of course, there were some people that Aleyi did remember a lot... but in a friendly way, not frightening. Maybe Mermaiyeth's had someone like that but sort of opposite.

Aleyi waited and finally had to lean closer to hear what Beka was whispering. A Shunned man? She had never seen one of those, for obvious reasons probably, but she knew they couldn't be good. "If he's Shunned, then he can't come then," Aleyi pointed out what she thought was obvious. If those people came to where others were, didn't they get in trouble?

Aleyi touched Beka's arm gently and gave a sleepy smile. "I'm sure he can't come really. There are always Watchdragons making sure people who shouldn't be coming don't. And you have Mermaiyeth and a flitter. I'm sure they'll take care of you." Brooke chirped softly, she could too if it would only let her go back to sleep. Aleyi gave the young Gold a pet.