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Post by Amejisuto on Feb 16, 2009 16:11:57 GMT -5
So I recently almost had a mental break down. So I am taking things slow, I don't know for how long. Because of this I have to apologize profusely to a lot of sites. I know I haven't been posting here, and I would like to put it forward. If you want me to stay, I'll stay. But if you wish for me to leave, I'll leave... No questions asked, nothing else. I'll just leave...
I don't know how long this mental state with that. For that I am severely sorry.
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Post by friar on Feb 16, 2009 16:42:14 GMT -5
Want you to leave? What are you talking about? I don't know about anyone else, but Friar won't LET you leave! If you wanna talk, my shingle is just about always open, so feel free to drop me a line.
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Post by Amejisuto on Feb 16, 2009 17:30:05 GMT -5
Talking hasn't helped me too much. At this moment I have gone from my numerous roleplays to a handful. Simply because the people in them complained, so I dropped the roleplay like a hot rock.
I considered putting a Katana through my chest last night... Things are building up to a breaking point with me... I don't want to snap... but I am close to it...
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Post by friar on Feb 16, 2009 17:48:08 GMT -5
*offers hug*
We love you anyways, Ame. And I definitely understand stuff like that, so don't worry about rejection. If you need a break, feel free to take it, and we'll welcome you back with open arms when you're ready.
Love you, Ame!
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Post by Jenth on Feb 16, 2009 18:00:24 GMT -5
We wouldn't want you to leave Am, everyone needs a break or get into trouble everyknow and again
Mental break downs aren't fun, the 'minor' ones I've had tried to ruin my life. I would be close to being married by now... but it still feels like breaking up with my fiance was something i needed to do more then something i wanted. I was really messed up for a few months, but I'm a little better now.
Insanity is sort of in the family...
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Post by Amejisuto on Feb 16, 2009 21:36:12 GMT -5
-huggles Friar- Insanity is kind of in my family as well. If someone wants to NPC my characters I wouldn't mind. There are things they are needed for. Please don't start any relationships though. ^_^
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kandykat
Violet Rider 
Flying Sea Cucumber Master
Posts: 125
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Post by kandykat on Feb 16, 2009 21:39:44 GMT -5
*hug* I hope you feel better. Just take it easy, don't worry about your RPs.
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Post by friar on Feb 16, 2009 21:41:38 GMT -5
So...no problems with getting Cerri and J'reth into trouble with I'mny? That'll be fun...and interesting. Entertaining, even.
*stakes claim on Cerri*
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Post by Sparrow on Feb 16, 2009 21:46:31 GMT -5
*gives Friar a vicious look* No problems with you and Ame maybe...
But, wow Ame, no one here would want you to leave, and you can probably see that already. x3 I hope you're feeling better before long, but don't worry about taking it easy for now. Just don't think we want you to quit or anything, that'd be sadness. D:
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Post by Amejisuto on Feb 16, 2009 22:05:28 GMT -5
-laughs softly- And here I thought you would be mad at me for the things I haven't done Sparrow. Anyways... Cerri and her lover can get into troubles... go ahead and play with her. ^_^ umm Just anyone that uses my characters, PM me the link to the thread they use them in... so I am up to date with what is happened.
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Post by Amejisuto on Feb 23, 2009 14:41:07 GMT -5
There is a feeling slipping through me. It's chill and kind of empty. It slips through me like ice. Makes my bones feel almost numb. All of me feels numb, it's kinda of nice... I don't know why I say that, but now that the numbness has hit, I don't feel pain anymore. It's kinda gone. At first I cried, but now it's just kinda... Gone. I don't know how to say it, the way I feel now. It's just... numb.
Even as I type, I try to smile. Think of the happiness that my ex-lifepartner should have. My ex-lifepartner can do better then me. Much better then me, I am such a terrible person. We don't mesh, anytime they tried to be affectionate with them I shut them down. I'm a bad person, that must be it. It seems I just cause a lot of pain to those around me. A lot of unneeded pain.
Maybe now that the one I love is free, maybe they can find someone that will truly appreciate them. I'll always love my ex-lifepartner. That won't change overtime, the kind of love may change... But I will ALWAYS love them. We where friends for many years before we hooked up, and I am hoping we continue to stay friends.
It feels different now, as I sit here and type. Almost blank, empty... distant. The numbness has spread to my skin. I'm a bad person, it keeps echoing in my mind. What kind of person breaks up with their partner of almost two years, over the phone? I did... I'm that kind of person apparently...
I'm a bad person...
I guess what I am saying is... I'm probably not going to roleplay for awhile. Not till the numbness is gone.
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kandykat
Violet Rider
Flying Sea Cucumber Master
Posts: 125
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Post by kandykat on Feb 23, 2009 19:39:09 GMT -5
*hugs* I can tell you're going through a really bad time, and I hope you can feel better. I'll be praying for you. If you need to talk, my IMs are in my profile.
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